Where'd This Come From?

The Boy is almost 3. I can't believe it! It seems like yesterday that I was pregnant with him.

I've talked a lot about my pregnancy here on the blog. It was sometimes wonderful, sometimes tough but always- always- I knew that things would work out. (Ok, it was a little touch and go the last few days of my pregnancy, but everything was fine, right?)

I always thought that I'd have more than one kid. Seriously, I thought I'd have 4. FOUR. Then we had The Boy. It's not his fault, as much as this statement is going to sound, but after him- I thought I was done. And that I was comfortable with that.

Until recently.

I don't know if it's the move or the birth of a friend's baby on my birthday or what, but...

I think I want another kid.

Is it nature? Is my body just telling me that it's finally ready? Is my head finally clear enough to make it work??

Although I have no idea how this happened, it's has been going on for awhile. It started a few weeks ago, after hearing Cara's baby laugh (scroll down to August 21, 2008). I'm drooling over babies in public, I'm having dreams that I'm pregnant or breastfeeding, and I cry at the stupid TLC shows with the newborns...

I have no idea if I can even GET pregnant again. The surgery in July went fine, but I'm still having periods like Niagara Falls in the spring time.

Hubs is all for it. When I told him on Saturday that I was thinking that I might want to start trying sometime in the near future, he said, "Take off your pants. Let's go."

Sigh.

Something tells me the next few months are going to be interesting.

Thanks, Carole!

Without even knowing it, Carole saved my butt, again.

Seriously.

A while back she talked about throwing a party for her daughter, Hannah. She had the best idea for food- tacos!

Saturday was a family BBQ, the first one here at the new house. We were excited to have it even with the weather, but since it was supposed to rain we didn't want to grill.

In comes Carole. I remembered her post at 2:45am on Thursday morning. Don't ask why I was up, I just was. Anyhow, I remembered the tacos, I remembered how everyone went nuts for them at Hannah's party. Perfect! We could slice and dice everything the night before, throw it together a couple hours before the party and heat everything during the apps.

Don't you know- it worked perfectly!!

Dave wasn't a slave to the grill all afternoon, people kept commenting on what a great idea it was and were happy that they weren't eating the 180th hot dog of the summer.

It seemed like the fam liked the house. Not that it really mattered, but it felt good for my grandmother to say that she understood why we moved so far from her. And to see the look on her face as I showed her the master bedroom. :)

So, Carole, thanks for the great idea, albeit by accident. You saved my ass again, woman. I'll make sure to buy that iced tea for you at Rhinebeck!

Deep Breath and Lace.

I try hard to be a monogamous knitter. I fail sometimes. This is one example. It's ok though, I have no deadlines looming.

I needed a mindless car-ride knitting project. So on the way up to a wedding in Boston on Saturday I started a Deep Breath sweater. I love this pattern in so many ways. Mindless knitting at it's finest.

Last night I started a lace project, one that I can knit while trying to ignore the daily dose of TV violence that Hubs is watching for the night.

And I also have the Low Tide sweater blocking. It doesn't seem to want to dry, which makes me a bit nervous. I'm afraid of the wool getting funky, but more- I have a house full of guests coming on Saturday. It's blocking on the bed in my guest room. What happens if the mattress is still wet in a couple of days??

(And, Mother Nature can stop eff'ing with me now. We had one picnic for friends, during a huge thunderstorm. It was supposed to be a fun evening bbq. Turned into an inside dinner with the lights randomly blinking off. This picnic is for family. We already rescheduled from a few weeks ago when we had the tropical storm. This week is a Nor'easter. So not joking. We're still having it. Bite me, Mother Nature!)

(But be kind to me at Christmas!)

Swamped

Anyone want to finish my boring 2 page paper on American Victorianism so that I can back to knitting?

No??

Damn.

Paton's Cabled Vest Done!

YAY! I loved this pattern as soon as I opened the booklet (Paton's Cables) in Joann's last year. It took me awhile to get it on the needles, but it was a great knit. I wish that it was done in the round, up to the armpits, but beggers can't be choosers (yeah, I could have modified the pattern, but I'm too lazy). I'm hoping that it's warm enough in mid October that this could be one of my Rhinebeck outfits. It's a little big, I should have done the small size. I had the small on the needles, the frogged back because it looked TOO small. Sigh.


It's a great, relaxed look and this is coming from a completely non-vest wearing girl. (The Ralph Lauren shirt underneath helps. $20 bucks at Marshalls. Sweet!)

I also wanted to respond to the comments from the day before yesterday. First of all, thanks to everyone who did leave one.


Second, I know first hand what it's like for your body to want to hold onto weight like there's no tomorrow. Trust me, I do. I was 200 pounds on the day The Boy was born. (I'm 5'2"). Nature tells your body to release some of the weight. And it did. I lost a ton of weight within the first few weeks. But then- your body says to itself, "No no, not too much can come off. We have to leave some on...just in case." Nature is afraid that there will not be enough fat stored in your body for you to produce the nutrients- breastmilk and stuff- to feed the child. Your body holds on to that weight.


MY body is holding onto that weight. It's been 3 years!! I have to work harder for this weight to come off, thanks to nature telling me that I can't lose it.


Weight loss isn't easy. I never said it was. But to go to a weight loss class and blatantly tell everyone in there that you aren't going to do the two most important things regarding weight loss, but then wonder why you didn't lose much weight? Just silly.


Yesterday, The Boy and I spent the entire day walking around a New England fair with smells and sights of all sorts of goodies. Know what I ate? A grilled veggie panini and a child size frozen yogurt. That, and a whole lot of water. I didn't have the crap I would have normally ate because this issue is something that I want to have over with. I'm done. I'm done with having to wear size 14. I'm done with feeling self conscious every time I walk out the door. I'm done with feeling sluggish and sad.


DONE.


But instead of hanging my head and throwing in the towel, I'm making changes.



You can too.

Make baby steps. Replace one meal a day with a salad. (Think you'll go hungry? Come to my house and I'll make you a salad that will have you satisfied until midnight. Email me if you want to know what I put in my salads.)

Make small changes. All it takes is one step at a time. Go for a walk. Just 20 minutes a day will make a difference. (I'm not saying start with a gym membership or that I'm expecting everyone in the world to be able to run marathons, trust me- I couldn't do it myself. But it takes some motivation and you can find it within yourself!) Buy yourself a Heart Rate Monitor, learn how to strap it on (there's websites, especially Polar.com that are excellent for help) and GO! It will tell you when you are doing too much or too little. Can't afford it? I bought mine on ebay for 60 bucks. Ask for one for the holidays. You'll be surprised how much a loved one will chip in once he or she knows you are serious (my husband almost jumped for joy- he wants me around for awhile, I think).

Drink water. Buy a 24 ounce plastic water bottle (or larger) and try to make it never be full and never be empty. When you fill it, drink it. When you empty it, fill it. You should be peeing clear every 2 hours or less. Not even joking.



I've dealt with weight issues my whole life. I love sweets like you can't believe. But worse, I'm an emotional eater. I once ate an entire pan of rice crispie treats in a day. (And I wanted more!) That was because I knew that I was going to be alone for an extended period of time in my old house and it freaked me out. Did it solve anything? Did the marshmallows protect me in any way? No.


This is what I'm learning.

It doesn't help that I have 2 sisters that are morbidly obese. I see that and it makes me want to cry. They will die at an early age because they are spinning out of control and can't do anything about it. That terrifies me. I'm so close to that.

And yeah, it is about loving yourself, Carole. I'm going to add that to my inspiration sheet right now. 'Cause I do love myself. And I think you guys should love yourselves too.

More later, The Boy is awake and yelling to get up now. Bad timing. :)

"There's No Epidural in Exercise."

I watched The Biggest Loser this afternoon (yay DVR and no commericals!) and that was a quote from one of the girls.

She's right.

I have been working out this a vengence- going to the gym for 2 hours a day 5 days a week, doing ab and back work here at the house, and walking the neighborhood on days I skip the gym...my body hurts.

I've also been calorie cutting again, back to 1200/day. It's a change, but my body is not longer in that "feed me now!" panic mode, so it's getting easier.

I've lost 4 pounds in one week. I've been attending local weight loss classes here in town. I'm amazed at how the people sitting around me are ready to admit that they have a weight issue (obviously, they are sitting there-right?), but don't have the inner drive to change habits. One woman, who needs to lose about 100 pounds, said that she didn't like water and exercise and nothing they told her was going to change that. When pushed further, she said that exercise hurt and water made her pee too much.

I looked at her and said, "Pain is weakness leaving the body."

She had her mouth open, ready to say a quick retort, but instead stopped and thought about it.

I know I'm right. I prove it to myself with every spin class, every weight training session, every sit up and every stretch I do. Yeah, it hurts. But I want to make changes. I want to feel sexy. I want to feel strong and healthy.

I have no idea where this 12 week journey is going to take me, but with 4 pounds gone, I'm happy to keep moving.

(And I have a finished vest to show off, but that's going to have to wait for Hubs to get home so that we can take photos. I bought a new size small shirt to go with it and everything!)

Siren's Song

So I've been knitting like a mad woman. Seriously. The type of knitting where my head's down, shoulders hunched, not paying attention to the world around me. Yeah, the kind of knitting that got my wrist in trouble before.

Sigh.

I woke up this morning with stiffness and some pain in my wrist. I was doing so well. I should take more frequent breaks.

Anyways- the back and sleeves of the Low Tide sweater are done. The fronts will be on the needles shortly. (You'd think that I'd just stop, wouldn't you?) I hope to have the sweater blocking by Wednesday or Thursday.

Here's the back and sleeves:

Here's the wrong side of the sleeve. If I didn't have to show Gail (the photographer of Shear Spirit, the book I got the pattern out of) the finish product, I'd totally sew the sleeves on inside out. Doesn't just make a cool pattern?

And here's what the whole she-bang looks like, sitting on my counter in the kitchen, calling it's siren song, waiting for just one more row.

Sigh.

On a Day Like Today.

I started a new sweater- the Low Tide Crossover Vee Neck (Ravelry link) from one of my favorite books, Shear Spirit.

I had issues with gauge, then size. Or size, then gauge. Either way, we're rocking now!

This is Schaefer Yarn's Miss Priss in Elena Piscopia. Yummy!! (The colors from my camera don't do this justice. Trust me when I say that it's the perfect fall yarn.)

And I just want to add that September 11th always reminds me to be thankful for each breath that I breathe. It reminds me to hug my kid and husband a bit tighter, a bit closer. I hope the people who still hurt from this tragedy know they are being thought of.

Best Laid Plans

I didn't spin on Saturday night. By the time I put The Boy down for the night, cleaned up the mess we'd made playing and took some time to unwind, I didn't have enough energy to go back up stairs, drag the damn thing down, and do what needed to be done. (You can see why it's been so long since I've spun now, right?) I did knit up a storm though, no pun intended. (The storm was a big as they predicted. Lots of rain and wind. We had some brown outs all night, then lost power for about 2 and a half hours in the middle of the night. I woke up as it went. It's very dark in my house with no lights. Buying new flashlights today! We also lost some trees, but in the woods so I think we're going to let nature take care of them.)

This is what I was trying to wrap up on Saturday night. The green cabled vest is blocking, the neck and arms will be finished tonight.

So, on the the next project.

The yarn is Schaefer Miss Priss in the Elena Piscopia colorway. Now, what should I make with it??

Nervous Energy Has It's Place, Right?

This is what my spinning wheel has looked like since I moved.

I suck.

I've been meaning to unpack it. I just...haven't.

Part of the problem is that I'm enjoying the knitting that I'm making. (My wrist is feel good, might as well work with it, right?) Part of it is being out of bobbins (hello, ply already!) and part of it is not really having the desire to get through that "I haven't spun in X amount of months, look at the crap I'm creating" stage.

Well, tonight that changes. I'm dusting this baby off. I know Rhinebeck is coming and I'm making myself refrain from purchasing more wool until this thing sings.

Oh- there's that and the fact that Hubs is going away for the evening and we're having a tropical storm blowing in any minute. High winds, lots of rain, nervous energy...perfect night for the wheel.

Now where's the flashlights??

Waiting All My Life For This.

I was an imaginative kid. I loved to dress up, imagine that I was living some grand adventure and not in my crappy life.

I really want to teach The Boy to use his imagination. I want him to be a policeman or firefighter or pilot in his mind. So far, he's been resistant (although he loves to try on new hats, we just don't own any that aren't Mommy's expensive hats.)

Yesterday, he asked to be Super Bunny, protector of the rabbits that live in my backyard.

Be still my beating mommy's heart.

He wore the cape all morning, even when the delivery guys brought up my new dresser. (They got a good chuckle out of it.)

He asked to wear it to bed, but didn't see too put off by not being able to. Today I asked if he wanted to be Super Bunny again, and he said no.

That's ok. The rabbits know where he lives if they need help.